The end made me cry

Max recently gave a speech at the Berkeley graduation. You can watch it below (start at 28 minutes). I thought it was a lovely, pertinent speech without the usual tacky sentiment you might forget a week later. And as I sat in the front row with Noah, I was deeply moved by the final words. My smokin’ hot husband continues to blow me away.

Babycock?

My parents visited last week, and my mom mentioned that she is amazed my brother and I are still alive. Pediatric advice has changed over the last 30+ years, and feeding is no exception. When I was a baby and about to start solids, my mom was advised to water down peanut butter and give this to me. Nowadays, I believe this is not introduced for the first few years, in case of an allergy.

Anyone who knows me, or has read this blog over the years, is aware that the kitchen is Max’s domain. I do not enter unless a glass of water is needed. But he loves to cook, and makes amazing food. In preparation for Noah’s journey to solid foods, Max brought home this french babyfood maker. It is called the Babycook, but honestly the logo isnt great and it looks like ‘Babycock’.

This gorgeous green machine is dummy safe – even I have been able to operate it successfully. You throw in some water and veggies. It steams them and then purees them. Seriously So Easy. The video below is in dutch, but you get the idea. If you’re currently steaming your babyfood and then using a food mill, check this out. A babycock may be in your future!

Its not as easy as you think

From the outside looking in, I am no longer working the day job, and have my days to spend leisurely with my six month old son Noah. I am a SAHM, a Stay At Home Mom. Or as Heather Armstrong poetically put it: a (SAHM) or a Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. But move away from the cheap seats, and you will become privy to the complex world of raising a child. Not only is it an exhausting endeavor for mama and papa, but it’s hard work being a baby! Of course this is an indescribably rewarding experience – one that I wouldn’t trade for anything – but I would not deny that it’s so much more work than I imagined. And this is likely true for most first time parents. You never get to work this hard and then just get into bed to rest and recuperate again. Ever. There is no ‘end of the day’ anymore. For one, babies dont sleep like adults do. They wake up periodically throughout the night, and most of us have to get up to and settle them back down. I’ve heard that older toddlers have similar issues, when they begin dreaming and having nightmares. One friend told me, you never get to sleep a whole night through again – there will always be something, at each age and stage. WOW. That is kind of crazy when you think about it.

I can honestly say that Noah has been a relatively easy baby. Until month 5, he slept through the night after 10 weeks. I’m talking down at 9pm, up at 7 or 8am. That’s 10+ hours of uninterrupted sleep. Max and I were thrilled. We were able to have dinner together, watch movies or tv before bed. Have a relatively business as usual’ sleep schedule. We didnt experience the exhaustion most new parents talked about. But then he turned 5 months old, and pre-teething started. And the sleeping changed. And now 6.5 months in we are more exhausted now than ever before. Some nights he wakes up every hour on the hour. Try imagine that. You have to wake up each hour to rock, walk, shush your baby back to sleep. It’s like Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day on the hour. Bizarre to say the least.

And Noah wants to do things, eat things and touch things he cant. His little arms wont reach much of what he wants to touch, and everything must happen in moderation in the beginning. He has to learn to sit up and stay up, to build strength in his arms so he can crawl, to pull himself up putting one foot in front of the other and balance and walk. He has to endure teeth twisting their way up through the gums as they cut through skin and begin to work. (This one seems hellish and thankfully we dont remember it) He has to trust us at every turn, as we show him, feed him, hold him, teach him, applaud him. Max and I are continuously in awe of the level of trust a child has in their parents. He cant speak and must find the appropriate noises and facial cues to communicate everything. I would go crazy! But somehow he does it. And somehow he manages to keep a smile on his face through most of the day. Which must feel like an eternity for someone so little.

And sometimes it feels like that for those not so little. After accepting this new role as mother and staying home full time, I have put aside a life I used to have. Emails do not get answered every day anymore. Many phone calls do not get answered – going instead to my ever increasing voicemail box. So many things just dont get done. I have a baby in my company or arms every day now, and life is so different. As fortune would have it, I have been blessed with a husband who dresses by day as a Professor, but proves continuously that he wears a superhero suit underneath. He is in disguise to those who walk among us, but I know better. He is the chef who cooks all delicious meals. He is the caretaker when I need to meet with artists about shows I am curating. He is the babysitter when I need a day to myself. After having lived the last 15 years with Max in a very independent manner, it has been quite a shift in gears. We both admit this much.

BUT

It is amazing. The responsibility to shape and mold this little being into a kind, compassionate, adventurous human being is like the most intense, interesting and magical project I’ve ever undertaken. And while this sometimes terrifies me (am I fit to complete the task?!), I would love nothing than to see this through.

The day after Noah was born

Six months old

So cute it could make you sick

Yes I love Technology

Pledge

Whatever Anthony Kiedis is taking… I wants me some!

Obama Day

Yesterday Obama was sworn in as president. Goodbye douchebag, hello man with a brain in his head! Melissa sent me a link last night, that people adjusted the signs for Bush Street in our neighborhood to Obama Street. Max is now teaching again, two classes a day, and on Tuesday and Thursdays he is gone from 7:30am-8:30pm. If there werent a baby in this scenario, it wouldnt mean much, but I am suddenly without all that wonderful help in the morning. And it does make a difference. When he kissed me goodbye, Noah and I were still asleep, as wake-up time isnt normally before 8:30-9am. We never watch tv with him in the living room, as he does like to watch the screen. But on this occasion, I decided to make an exception. Noah is the only person in this apartment who was born in the USA, and I feel it is our obligation to make sure that he become politically aware as soon as possible. I hope it will hold some weight, when I tell him one day that we watched this historical event together, that we stood when those in DC were asked to rise, and danced around the room together in our pj’s when Obama was sworn in. As the crowds cheered, so did we. It was a special little moment.

We went for our daily walk, and enjoyed the gorgeous sunshine. We have had very warm weather over the last week (in January!), and it’s been lovely pushing the stroller in the sun. At a red light, I peeked down and saw the top of his head moving from side to side. This curious little man was looking around at everything, taking it all in. He is quiet, but alert. And there is always someone who will comment on him and how cute he is, on these walks. The other day a French man walked by, and uttered something to Noah in a tone I can only call ‘cutesy’. I should have had the courage to ask him what he said, but he was with his while family…

Once back at the apartment, we were playing on the bed. I hold his hands and help him pull up into a sitting position. And now that he likes to stand, this will sometimes extend into a pull up to standing position. Normally he lifts up, makes eye contact and then smiles at me. He seems proud and also relieved that I am still there. It’s adorable. But yesterday, when I pulled him up into standing pose, he laughed!! A real giggle. I couldnt believe it. Just like that he’s a little more grown up. And his laugh is amazing. He scrunched his nose and his eyes, huge smile and then he belly laughs.

And this was all in just one day.