Goodnight sweet prince
This will go down as the worst day we’ve had ever.
Our little Grady is gone. It was a roller coaster day, filled with moments of intense connection and love, and some awful suffering as well. His back legs stopped working, and he was unable to move around. Which made everything so difficult – eating, drinking and bathroom. All of which essentially stopped. It would seem his fever of 105 did not fade, and caused a horrendous convulsion this afternoon. The sight and sounds of that will haunt us forever.
We spent the afternoon taking shifts with him in our lap, on his favorite chair, facing out to the windows, so that he could look at the view outside. This is something he has enjoyed doing daily on his own. We had him wrapped in his favorite soft blanket, and just held him. He was so weak, and skinny. One tender moment I will remember always was in the early afternoon, when the sun was shining so brightly on us, and a bird landed on the fire escape outside. He looked at it, and looked at me, and softly mewed. As if to say, “Wow, look at that bird!” It was such a tender, gentle sound. And it truly was the essence of his spirit.
We are amazed that we had him for just 4 months, and we are deeply and profoundly moved and lost without him already. There was an unbelievable love so immediately with him – something we will likely never be able to convey to anyone else. We feel blessed to have been there when he passed. We held him, told him we love him and that we will miss him and think of him every day.
Right now we are just trying to heal and mourn the loss of our little kitten. The apartment feels empty without him. It is a soreness in my chest that feels like it will snap me in half. But we have so many awesome memories of the little guy, and will keep him alive through this.
Daily | 
March 28, 2007 5:05 am | 
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