So Noah is getting better, and Max and I are now getting sick. Yay.
For weeks we planned to have the babysitter come watch Noah this afternoon so we could have a day to ourselves. It was so crappy to wake up feeling sick, but we went out anyway. It is just too rare that have the opportunity, so we said screw it. We ended up going to see Crazy Heart, and it was so good. A slow, quiet story with tons of heart and heartbreak. The New Mexico landscape is unmistakable and there were so many moments where I couldn’t help but say, “Nice shot,” out loud. If you’re a Jeff Bridges fan, this film will not disappoint. He is charming, vulnerable, disappointing, gross, pitiful and beautiful all at the same time. It’s sort of like a Leaving Las Vegas country-style meets Walk The Line tale. The music is really good, and the supporting cast is just incredible. Maggie Gyllenhaal is enigmatic and breathtaking, showing her unusual talent of seeming strong and soft simultaneously. Bobby Duval has never been bad in anything – period. And the biggest surprise for me was Colin Farrell. I have always found him annoying and one dimensional in the films I’ve seen him in, but this time for me he shone bright. Like a true, gritty, manly music man. The music has stayed with me all day, and this film (unlike sooooo many) does not tank in the last 5 minutes. Bridges’ oscar nom is well deserved.
We also tasted Teacake cupcakes for the first time today, and I was frightened by how good they were. I regret finding out that there is a location near where we live, and hope to find the strength to avoid driving there everyday when I take Noah to Gymboree classes.
I love TedTalks. A few times a week, I sit down while Noah is napping and watch a few. They always leave me feeling inspired and amazed. So many interesting people and ideas. So may ways to help make this world better. This year’s conference just happened, and I enviously read the lineup of guests who would be speaking. I was surprised to read that Jamie Oliver would be receiving the TedPrize this year. What for? I was confused. The English chef? I don’t get it…
I just watched his talk. And it makes me weep. It makes me fucking weep. It was brilliant.
20 minutes in this day and age is a lot to ask of someone, but I implore you – you with children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews. Watch this talk. And imagine how you can make a change with the food these children in your lives eat.
From the day he arrived, we have always been emphatic that Noah eat well, he eat local and he eat organic. I don’t care what it takes, but this is non-negotiable. I will go without many other things in my life, but I will make sure this happens. Having watched this talk, I believe in that choice 200% more. And I’m not naive – I realize that we are VERY fortunate to be in a financial position to allow an experience like this for Noah, but his future health is paramount and for that I will not cut corners.
SOMETIMES I FEEL REALLY CONNECTED TO THE WORLD. THANKS WORLD.
My beloved friend Ashley has been making mixes for Ben and I for half a year now. She sends them every few months and then we respond with something – anything we want: art, letters, photographs. At some point in the future we will share all of these things in an exhibition. It came about while driving in her car last summer in Portland. We loved her ipod playlist so much, and kept asking, “Who is this? It’s such a nice song.” and the idea was born. She seems to know so much about music, and has impeccable taste. And everytime I get one of the CDs in the mail, I feel a little more connected to her. Bless the friends we have that make us feel good about ourselves, this world and life in general.
I can hear Noah snoring through the baby monitor. He has a cold. His 3rd ever. But he keeps smiling, laughing, playing… I have my heart in my mouth, worried about what-if and all that crap, but he is joyous and mostly annoyed by the green snot seeping down over his upper lip. Being a parent teaches you new things each day, but over and over it reminds you: BE GRATEFUL. This is an easy thing to write or tell others, but to actually take a break each day and genuinely think on the things that you have and the reasons you have to be grateful takes effort. And having a kid has forced me to take that moment and genuinely reflect.
Oh blog, how I miss you. I used to write to you so often, especially during grad school and the days that followed afterwards. But that was many years ago, and even 2009 is now gone. Sometimes feeling so long, in other moments moving past in the blink of my eye. The year my son unfolded like a new flower: learning to roll over, look up, push up, sit up, crawl and walk. Amazing. The year we moved out of the 600 sq/ft apartment we’d been in for six years and into a 1500 sq/ft house: space, space, space. And now 2010 is in full swing. A year I never imagines in all my future daydreams as a youngster. This is the year Noah will learn to talk, and for this I am excited. Even though I know I should just enjoy today and all that it brings, because everything else has gone by so fast. I sometimes find myself watching him move and play, and feel dumbfounded by the fact that I grew him in my belly and gave birth to him. That he is literally of my flesh and blood… sometimes feels completely surreal. And being a parent brings many things to the surface. You are forced to make decisions each day about who you are and what kind of parent you want to be. To help your child find a way of being a gentle, kind, compassionate person may be easier than it sounds. When I get into bed I evaluate each day whether I felt I succeeded or failed. Many nights the sign flashes FAIL.
But that is the beauty of living at the pace my child sets. I follow his lead and get to try all over again tomorrow. This little life is a blessing.
Daily | 
February 21, 2010 4:37 am | 
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