Hello?

Oh blog, how I miss you. I used to write to you so often, especially during grad school and the days that followed afterwards. But that was many years ago, and even 2009 is now gone. Sometimes feeling so long, in other moments moving past in the blink of my eye. The year my son unfolded like a new flower: learning to roll over, look up, push up, sit up, crawl and walk. Amazing. The year we moved out of the 600 sq/ft apartment we’d been in for six years and into a 1500 sq/ft house: space, space, space. And now 2010 is in full swing. A year I never imagines in all my future daydreams as a youngster. This is the year Noah will learn to talk, and for this I am excited. Even though I know I should just enjoy today and all that it brings, because everything else has gone by so fast. I sometimes find myself watching him move and play, and feel dumbfounded by the fact that I grew him in my belly and gave birth to him. That he is literally of my flesh and blood… sometimes feels completely surreal. And being a parent brings many things to the surface. You are forced to make decisions each day about who you are and what kind of parent you want to be. To help your child find a way of being a gentle, kind, compassionate person may be easier than it sounds. When I get into bed I evaluate each day whether I felt I succeeded or failed. Many nights the sign flashes FAIL.

But that is the beauty of living at the pace my child sets. I follow his lead and get to try all over again tomorrow. This little life is a blessing.